5 ways to feed your mom soul

feed your mom soulWe all want to be “good” moms. 

But  what does being a “good” mom really mean anyway? Everyone has a different definition. And even our own definition of what it means to be a good mom can change from moment to moment!

One Mothers’ Day a few years ago, my pastor challenged the moms in the audience to shift our focus from trying to become a good mom to becoming a godly woman instead.

He explained that when our drive and desire is to know God more deeply and to love and please Him, the result will show up in our mothering in a big way.

Our choices will be more God-driven. We’ll more naturally demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit — things like love, patience and self-control. What mom couldn’t use more of those? 

Life is busy. We get distracted and discouraged easily. So, focusing on becoming a more godly woman requires a plan. We have to be deliberate. Or else our good intentions just get buried under a pile of laundry or lost in the shuffle of home and work responsibilities, car pool duties and taking kids to soccer practice.

Here are five ways to feed our mom soul so we can become more of the woman and mom God created us to be:

Have a devotional book handy.

My kids are teens now, but when they were younger, I spent a lot of time in the car. Like half my life. I tried to keep a devotional book and Bible handy in the car, so I could take advantage of those small pockets of downtime while I waited in the parent pickup line or for soccer practice to end. 

When they were really small, I kept a devotional book in a basket in the bathroom for those times when I was actually able to be in the bathroom alone!

Keep Scriptures around the house. 

Find verses that help encourage you in the season or struggle you’re experiencing right now. Tape them to your mirror and/or the sun visor of your car. It’s amazing how those little, but powerful, truths throughout the day can change our perspective and keep us encouraged. 

Pick a book of the Bible and read it 20 times.

Someone recently told me that she read that it takes reading a book of the Bible 20 times before we truly internalize it. Apparently, that’s when the magic happens and we are able to gain new, deeper insights from the Holy Spirit.

That can sound overwhelming. Start small. The book of James is a great place to start. It is a short book and it is packed full of amazing, challenging and practical truths.

Focus on a chapter or passage to read.

Grab your Bible commentary. It provides so much insight about the historical context. You learn what scholars have to say about why the writer used certain imagery and metaphors.

I can’t tell you how much this enriches your understanding of the Scripture.

Go through a Bible study either in a group or by yourself.

When the kids are small, it is hard to get together with a small group to do a Bible study. Do it if you can! We can learn so much for each other. And it provides a level of accountability that we often need (at least I do!)

However, if it’s just not possible right now, don’t hesitate to buy a Bible study book and go through it by yourself at your own pace. Better yet, ask a friend to do it with you. Even if you can’t get together in person, you can still talk about what you’re learning over the phone.

God wants to meet you where you are. In all it’s busyness and messiness. He knows the mom you long to be. He sees your heart.

We can never be truly good. But thankfully, He always is. 

Melinda Means



Check out our new book Mothering From Scratch: Finding The Best Parenting Style for You and Your Family! It’savailable now on Amazon and releases in bookstores January 20th!

Mothering From Scratch

you know you need a fresh start in mothering when…

fresh startYou know that feeling when you’re driving and you suddenly realize you’re lost? Or when you’re in the middle of a project and it starts to fall apart and not come together.

How about when you feel anxiety about what’s coming around the corner?

That’s when we know we need a new plan. A new approach. A fresh start.

This happens in mothering our children too! Here’s what to do:

When you’re feeling lost in your mothering….

Stop and take stock of your surroundings, your present situation and your current feelings. Why do these places make you feel lost? Is it because you feel out of control or is it because you weren’t paying attention?

When you feel anxiety about what’s coming around the corner…

Someone knows what’s around every corner, because they’ve been there with their child(ren). Find moms who can offer wisdom and strategies to handle what may happen. Even if their kids are only 2-3 years older than yours, it can provide a soothing hug to know that what you’re experiencing now is normal and will resolve. When you get some sage advice, it can also alarm you on your toes if it doesn’t!

 The “what if”s become less scary when you know “what will”.

When you feel that whatever you’re doing is just wrong and not working…

Pause. Take 3 steps back and a break from whatever you are trying to accomplish with your child. Give it a little breathing room. Give yourself a little break from trying to work on “that” today.

Tomorrow, your view will be clearer. Taking the break will enable you to come at it fresh, recalibrate and try something different.

These steps will help in formulating the new plan for mothering when we need it. Isn’t it great that we can start fresh…even in mothering?

“No matter where we are in our mothering journey or what mistakes we believe we’ve made, we can all start mothering from scratch.” — Mothering From Scratch: Finding the Best Parenting Style for You and Your Family.


Mothering From Scratch is on bookshelves!

Mothering From ScratchToday is the official release day of Mothering From Scratch: Finding The Best Parenting Style For You and Your Family!

In Mothering From Scratch we talk a lot about dreams and ambitions. 

This book, one that has been on our hearts for over seven years, is now available everywhere! That’s hard for us to imagine. We are terribly proud of the work we have done, but much more amazed at what God has done in our lives as a result.

He has truly taken a couple of sinners and used us beyond what we thought we were capable. His mercies are not only “new every morning” (Lamentations 3:23) but His plan is not what we had expected in our lives.

We want to thank everyone who made this project of the ministry of Mothering From Scratch possible:

the women we interviewed for the book, for sharing so candidly their struggles and their triumphs.

our families, for putting up with us during the writing process.

our publisher, Bethany House for believing in this message that moms so desperately crave and our agent Blythe Daniel.

our Lord, who multiplied our time and made it a mission we couldn’t ignore.

Our mothering hearts are within these pages. We hope you find them encouraging and supportive in all that you do as a mom. We truly believe that all mothers can start from scratch, no matter where they are in their mothering journey. He has shown this to us so many times, in so many different blessed ways.

We are eternally grateful. 

Kathy and Melinda 

Mothering From Scratch

Get your copy of Mothering From Scratch: Finding The Best Parenting Style for You and Your Family at these online retailers:


Barnes and Noble

Christian Book Distributors

If you have read the book, we humbly ask you to please leave a review at those listed above at Goodreads.



3 ways to let go of mom guilt

Living Well Spending LessWe’re so thrilled to be over at Living Well Spending Less today, talking about mommy guilt — that liar that steals our joy — and how we can overcome it. Go on over to our friend Ruth’s place to read the whole article


mommy guiltWe all know the feeling — that sinking, mommy guilt feeling.

A tidal wave of guilt comes flooding in, threatening to consume our every thought and action. It literally knocks us off of our feet. We feel unstable, overwhelmed and helpless.

Our kid is struggling in school and we just know it’s because we didn’t read to them enough when they were little. Or, surely it’s because we stopped breastfeeding them too soon.

Our strong-willed child is acting out and we believe it’s because we haven’t set appropriate, consistent boundaries every single minute of every single day.

Maybe we find ourselves chronically yelling at our kids. We know it’s hurting them, but we don’t know how to stop.

We start making ridiculous excuses or enabling our kids just to make it stop. After all, if only we’d done things differently, they wouldn’t be acting this way, right? …

Read More over at Living Well Spending Less …