Every mom has, at some point, has a “this-has-to-change” moment. They give us clarity and shift our lives into positive God-driven direction.
We have no idea when they’re going to strike. When we recognize them for what they are we’re often in complete, mind-blowing desperation.
(Kathy) I was a milk-soaked, blue flannel, crying puddle on our cold wood floor holding our four-month-old son. Max, our two-year-old, was ready for another extremely busy day, I clearly was not.
“You can’t go today. You just can’t leave me. I can’t do it. Not today,” I said to my husband through my tears.
I had never said anything like this to him. He looked at me with shock and sadness.
“Are you serious? Why? What’s wrong?”
“Please don’t go.”
“Ok, Honey.”
He called in “sick” for me. I was sick, not him.
“There’s one condition. After you get a little sleep, you need to go see someone. I am getting you an appointment today. Ok?”
I nursed my four-month-old, Paul, and went to bed for what seemed like 10 hours (only two) and woke up to Ben playing with the two of them.
I did end up seeing a counselor that day, who later sent me to a Psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with Postpartum Depression.
(Melinda) I hung up the phone, fell against the wall and slumped to the ground sobbing. My client had changed the deadline for their newsletter for the third time that week. With absolutely no regard for the fact that I had a six-month-old infant daughter who didn’t give a flip about shifting deadlines and demands.
Yet, I supposedly lived in Mommy-topia. I was now working from home, where I could be home with my children who would no doubt coo and play happily at my feet. Not so much.
“This-has-to-change” reality struck me one morning at 3:00 A.M. I was surrounded by dirty dishes, loads of laundry and a sick infant while trying to publish a newsletter. I had hit my breaking point.
The pressure had been building inside me for weeks … until there I was, sitting in a pile of goo, wondering how on earth I was going to work these new people into my life.
Suddenly, in the middle of the night, it became so clear to me what I needed to do. It seemed so right that I couldn’t wait to do it.
I dropped all my projects except for the most profitable ONE which also happened to be the most managable. Eureka! My sanity was saved.
Our job was to be obedient to God. He was the one calling us to be healthier and happier. We were truly “worth more than many sparrows”(Matthew 10:31). Neither of us knew how everything was going to turn out. We just needed to give in to His will for our lives.
Where do you “labor and spin” (Matthew 6:28)?
Where is God leading you?
Twitter: mylivingpower
Great post. And reminds me of something I came across in the Oprah Magazine last year. That we don’t have to fear loss because if we look hard at each good thing in our lives, they always came from a loss of some sort. Makes the crappy moments we face in the future maybe a little less miserable
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Laurie Wallin recently posted..20 Ways for Busy Moms to Relax NOW
{Kathy} Thanks for the comment and perspective, Laurie. Our losses do teach us gratitude. I agree with the idea of looking forward to the “end of a crisis” as a means to survive one. Thanks for the comment and perspective, Laurie.
Very neat blog. Cool.
We are sincerely glad you joined us.
Very good post. Cool.
Yay! I’m excited to read your posts again, Melissa!
I actually found this blog last week, but haven’t had much time to sit and read anything until today. 
(I was pulled away THREE times while commenting on this post!)
This day in age, I think there’s a TON of pressure to do it ALL as woman. It’s really tough to prioritize. Especially when some of things I’m involved in are ministries. How can you say no to that? But really, what needs to come first is my FAMILY.
Catie recently posted..On Modesty: Part 1
Catie!! I’m so glad you found me again! I’ve missed you. Always loved reading your blog. It’s good to be back in the blogging world.
I do think it’s hard to say no to ministry. But I firmly believe, as you do, that family comes first. It’s the priority ministry God has given us as moms.
I’ll be over to visit you very soon!
Great stories. I often wonder where I am being led.
Carolyn recently posted..Pay Your Bills, Check Your Boobs
Yes, it can be confusing sometimes, can’t it?!
Both stories are powerful! I’m working through a book right now about trying to figure out where God is leading you. And accepting that. It’s really good. Called the Artist’s Way.
Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..How to Have an Old-Fashioned Summer
{Melinda} The acceptance is the hard part … once we do that, we might still be scared, but there’s an assurance that He’ll take care of us as we follow Him. I have to remind myself of that all the time!