what is a momtor?

{Kathy} Mirta Calvo made all of us sit on tiny Pre-Kindergarten chairs. Our knees buckled in the air from being so big, but she was making a point:  we are not four years old. She explained in her calm voice The Theory of Multiple Intelligences by Howard Gardner.  Each time she described a different Intelligence, my mind started trying to place my child in that “category”.

My problem of fitting my son into a category, according to Mirta, was just that – a problem of mine.  He did not ever benefit from one category.  Students learn in different ways.  Thank goodness.

Her manner was gentle, yet firm. She delivered the delicate blow to all of our egos that we can’t make our kids learn like us.  Again, a real “shocker”.

The mentoring she gave me through that year appeared in small doses, like good medicine.  She allowed my four-year-old to be himself.  He was subsequently voted “The Dirtiest Kid In Pre-K” that year.  His affinity for getting his white uniform shirt covered in every substance from snack juice to paint ended up giving him affirmation, not condemnation.  I needed to get on the band wagon, and just buy some bleach for his shirts.

She still encourages me to accept my kids for who they are, and ultimately me the way I am. My bleach bottle sometimes comes in handy for stains I throw on myself.

Titus 2:4 talks about “older women teaching younger ones to love their children”.  I thank Mirta for showing how to do just that.

Mirta is a MOMtor.

{Melinda} At 13, I hated feeling invisible. But being noticed was no picnic either.  My shy, awkward, gangly self didn’t stop traffic. It broke mirrors. So then I’d quickly long to be invisible again. I lived in adolescent purgatory.

But a ray of sunlight during that time was one of my friend’s moms, Mrs. Hayslip. When I saw her, I felt like I mattered. Like every word I said was fascinating and smart. That I was – dare I say it – beautiful. I kid you not. The woman was a miracle worker.

I wanted to give that “magic” feeling to my kids. So I’ve thought about how she did it. Eye contact. Sincerely and accurately affirming my good qualities – not giving empty praise. Giving me her full attention, even if it was brief.

Even though I’ve rarely seen Mrs. Hayslip in the past 25 years, the model she set is one I still think back to, even today, as I parent my own children.

Mrs. Hayslip is a MOMtor.

Just taking care of our children’s needs is easy: food, water and shelter.  Loving  and accepting them with all their quirks is a whole other ball of wax. Mom mentors (MOMtors) help us do this — as well as a whole host of other things that assist us in our mothering.

On Monday, we’ll introduce you to our first MOMtor. She is just one of many fabulous MOMtors that we are excited to introduce you to in the coming weeks and months.