Here is the treadmill of mothering guilt which runs along in my mind:
What if they don’t eat enough green vegetables?
Wait. Now, they’re not eating nutritious food or exercising enough!
Jeez.
How am I going to make sure they are fit enough?
What about their education? Are they learning enough?
Ok, but what is enough?
I will make sure they are independent enough.
Oh no, they can’t do this if they don’t know how to do enough. Like laundry, cooking, managing money…
I must not have given them enough responsibility.
That’s it.
I’m not doing enough.
I’m not giving enough.
I must not be enough.
In order to get off of this rotating cycle of guilt and inadequacy, I have realized these thoughts are pure bullarky. In fact, all of them have been proven wrong, again and again. My children teach me everyday that they are really not subject to any of my bizarre delusions of controlling them. They are completely separate from me. Thank God.
God is the author of their souls, the caretaker of their hearts, and not me. The sooner I realize that, the happier they will be.
I must direct my children to seek their nourishment, knowledge and care from a source which will never run out: The Holy Spirit. His sufficiency is unending. I remain painfully inadeaquate here–and that’s O.K. by me. My dependence on Him to help me mother is the only hope for adequacy. My moral obligation is to love and care for my children in so much as I am able. I remind myself of that daily with cooking meals and making sure they wear their seatbelts.
Their Heavenly Father will love them more. More than enough. More than I could possibly know.
2 Corinthians 12:9
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
How will you choose to turn off the cycle of mothering guilt?
I love this post!! Thank you for sharing your feelings – I feel the same way too as a new mom – I think all moms do from time to time!!
Rebecca Rider recently posted..An Open Letter to David Wong
{Kathy} New mommy guilt. I think this can be the most difficult time. It sounds like you are weathering it well!
[...] Over at Mothering From Scratch, they are talking about being enough. [...]
{Kathy} Oh wow. I am very thankful and humbled. I appreciate it so much that you featured our blog!
Praise the Lord! Only HE is enough! Thanks for the encouragement!
Paloma recently posted..Our 4th of July in Pictures
{Kathy} It’s comforting isn’t it? Thanks for the comment. Going over to view your blog.
I learn from my son everyday too! Thank goodness God has given me a teachable heart.
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Reaching for Freedom and Making Good Choices
{Kathy} Children are usually the wisest people in the room. No adult can give as accurate insight. I believe I shall give thanks for a teachable heart, as well. Thanks for pointing out a place of gratitude I can share.
Beautiful post! I love this. It’s not my job to be everything, just me. Thanks for the reminder.
misssrobin recently posted..Feedback on Your Blog
{Kathy} Thank you so much for the compliment! It took me quite a few years to be “just me.”
…and it doesn’t end! My boys are older than your children I know, and I still find myself thinking “if only I had…”
My only hope is to remind myself, “He loves them even more than I do.”
Laura recently posted..From Ravaged to Restored
{Kathy} “if only I had…” is the biggest guilt producer! We can only change the future–and even sometimes then, not. I am going back to your blog to remind myself how old your children are…
Twitter: thedosetweets
You are so right. Well done. It is easy to get sucked in to thinking about how much we are doing wrong, but in the end it is about far more than us.
thedoseofreality recently posted..Bottle Rockets, Black Cats and Family Memories
{Kathy} “…it is about far more than us.” This is so true. We are fortunate that we have the eternal perspective than the earthly one!