sign up for character change: have children

True or False?  We lose our identity when we have children.

Actually, I would say, “True.” We lose ourselves in a beautiful way. Our life story changes because we were open to the life which God placed in ours.  Motherhood facilitates a great deal of character change that doesn’t happen voluntarily. I have never personally signed up for a change in character. God just seems to make it happen ever so effectively through mothering my kids.

Have trouble with patience? Here’s a difficult child.

Have insecurities about your worth? Here’s an independent kid for you.

Selfishness? Have a demanding, needy child. That’ll get you moving in the right direction.

I don’t usually recognize the needs. But, I see the effects on my children. The reality of my inadequacy smacks me in the face. Children don’t try to be reflections of our character–they just naturally do. They show us both the “pretty and smart” parts and the unattractive, silent ones.

Becoming a mother gives us a unique opportunity to make a gigantic leap in our moral development. Extrinsic goals of  life, such as success and fame, start to fall back. Those give way to a more mature, intrinsic thinking pattern. I am not suggesting that this happens quickly. I know for me it seems as slow as molasses. I have moved, and been poured into a mold of being a Catholic Christian, wife and mother.

My prayer is that it is more Christ-shaped, less of me-shaped. This new woman, this mother of a woman–is still me, only much better.

Maybe our goals in life included something other than the reality which we have right now. God is choosing this life, this family, this time for His purpose through us. If we look through the eyes of our kids, we always will see the best version of ourselves.

Being a patient person is more important than having well-behaved children.

Finding my worth in Christ is more valuable than feeling good about my achievements.

Serving my family helps get the “me” out of the way to do God’s work.

Thankfully, God is a”do as I say AND as I do” parent. He calls us to make changes through holy conviction. He offers us forgiveness and accepts repentance.  He never questions his identity, nor should I.  It is difficult to submit to His authority in my life–to give Him the power to change me. My mind and heart always resist.

My kids will somehow find a way to remind me of what needs changing.

“Speaking the truth in love,we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ…(this) causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.”– Ephesians 4:15-16

How can I see myself through my children’s eyes?

What are accomplishments I can achieve, to do God’s work?

What character changes am I thankful for that God has allowed me to accomplish since I have become a mother?