When does it happen? When do we want our mother?
Even at 42, I can be closely attached to mine. I want my mom when I am super tired, upset or hungry. It doesn’t surprise me that Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon share the same sort of concept of vulnerability. They refer to it as H.A.L.T–Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. Our guard is down, our strength is gone and we can make a number of different choices, healthy and unhealthy.
When we are sick–Our mothers listen to our whining without judgement. It can be a cold or major surgery, but her voice sounds equally as concerned.
When we are hurt–We need them to tell us everything is going to be OK. I notice that our most recent conversations have been her consoling me after my feelings have been hurt by my older children.
When we are worn out–Again, more whining that she somehow can handle, but with sympathy and usually a swift kick in the rear end to get me moving again.
It is precisely those times when my children seem to want me as well. I tend to focus too long on the “Hungry” part of vulnerability; I have actually soothed many a savage beast of an adolescent boy with food. Some may call it manipulation. I call it efficient use of chocolate chip cookies, peach cobbler, and casseroles.
Their overwhelming need for snuggling when they were infants and toddlers calmed any chaos in their lives. I didn’t mind; I felt like I could be doing nothing more important with my time. I still melt into my own mom’s arms whenever I get the chance. Just the smell of her hair on her pillow used to soothe me as a child, and I still love jumping in her big bed when I visit to do the same.
Some things in life should stay the same. Namely, our mother’s love for us. Day in and day out, we can count on her to just BE THERE. As a mom, I can get overwhelmed with 4 kids’ versions of “I need ____________,” at any given time. Their desires change so much from year to year.
Despite quite a bit of turmoil, my mother did a remarkable job of being a constant, soothing source of comfort.
Our Father can do the same for us, even when our moms are not around. He provides the solace and comfort we need by showing love for us on a daily basis.
“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; And you will be comforted in Jerusalem.” Isaiah 66:13
How can we as Moms just BE THERE for our children?
When do your children want you to mother them the most? The least?
What keeps you comforted as a mother?
I have a nine month old and I feel like he needs me all the time, day (and night) in and day (and night) out. It’s a very nice feeling, but wow, it’s exhausting! It’s nice to know that even though his need won’t be as strong as it is right now, it will always be there!
Visiting from SITS.
annie recently posted..Travel Challenge. Oh Screw That. Travel Nightmare.
{Kathy} A nine month old’s needs can be exhausting. You’re right on! I sort of felt like I was “touched out” by the end of the day sometimes when mine were in that stage. I pray you get a break…However, find a way, any way you can, to relish these times. You will not regret any time you spend holding him. Trust me.
Twitter: thebusymomsdiet
Love this! As a mom of a toddler I try to be there for him all the time to hug and cuddle and as a high school teacher, I see that so many teens that need a caring ear when they are hurting or hungry or sick. Sometimes I have to be the teacher and the mom.
Emily recently posted..Weight Lifting Routine and Schedule
{Kathy} Teenagers need almost just as much affection, but unfortunately don’t get it. Teachers do get the “honor” of playing mom all the time. Isn’t it great you have a toddler that you can snuggle as much as you want right now?? Thanks for visiting.
Twitter: thebusymomsdiet
It is an honor to be a mom figure to teenagers who need a kind word or encouragement. I’m not a fan of leaving my little one during the day, but I take pride in putting my heart into helping other people’s “little ones”.
Emily recently posted..Tutorial Tuesday- Sleep Training: Our Journey to Dreamland
{Kathy} Teaching is an honor. You are influencing the next generation of parents, too!
I am a nuturer by nature, but I love comforting my children. My mother passed away almost 9 years ago, and I still yearn to go “the house” as we called it to just be in her presence. Great post, visiting from SITS. Need a tissue now…
Whitney recently posted..Friday at The Mocha Cafe
{Kathy} I am sorry for the loss of your mother. She sounds like quite a nurturer too. Thank you for your comment. Peace.
I definitely agree, those are the times my kids want me most.
What a lovely idea – to look to the lord as the ultimate Father, which He is.
{Kathy} Thanks for commenting! Nice to have you with us….glad to see I’m not the only one whose children do these things!
Twitter: mylivingpower
I end up doing a lot of comforting around frustrating math homework. Was just doing that today, as a matter of fact! My oldest with learning disabilities really – REALLY – hates and struggles with math, so we spend 2x the usual time just helping her calm down while she attempts the problems. It’s kind of a bonding experience for both of us though, when we look over her completed work, done correctly, and her feeling so proud!
Laurie Wallin recently posted..What is Your Daughter Learning From You?
{Kathy} You just took me back a few years to my son’s reading homework time. They were crises that we encountered TOGETHER on a daily basis. There is nothing like a crisis to bond people together. Today, he has found a place of peace regarding his reading difficulties. Thanks for commenting and your feedback. It is always appreciated. God Bless!
Beautiful post! It’s interesting how my girls seem to “prefer daddy” always… but… if they get sick, sad, hungry, scared, etc… yes… there is nothing like “mommy”… they don’t want anybody else!
I wish I was more patient when they are sick though… because my voice those change when I can’t take it anymore… I get frustrated mostly blaming myself when they get sick and wishing I hadn’t let them get wet or we hadn’t gone here or there…etc… but -sigh- children get sick, right? 
RIGHT??! 
Thanks for sharing!
Paloma recently posted..Coffee Friday – Southern Style
{Kathy} Thanks for commenting! Funny that you mentioned kids getting sick and blaming yourself for some reason. My husband is a pediatrician. He hears this all day, “What did I do wrong? What should I have done so that my kid wasn’t sick?” Here’s the honest scoop: we flatter ourselves if we think we are somehow responsible for Microbiology, Immunology, and Infectious Disease. Just as we can’t control when the sun rises or its power, nor can we be in control of our kids’ getting sick. There are certainly things we can do to AVOID them getting sick. But ultimately, life doesn’t work so conveniently that we can limit suffering for ourselves or our children. And….on the upside, it’s when they like to snuggle the most!
Oh I love this post, my grandmother passed away recently and my own mom is still struggling. Because there is no one like your mom. I plan to share this verse with her. Thank you.
Laura @ Pruning Princesses recently posted..The extreme way to get more family time
{Kathy} That would be an honor, Laura. Pass my sympathy on to your mom. There is no one like our moms, is there?