momtor monday: finding the bliss in motherhood

by Martine De Luna, Guest MOMtor

Can motherhood be blissful?

When people associate motherhood and marriage with bliss, certain scenarios crop up: the Apartment Therapy-esque home; the Pioneer Woman’s kitchen; the Martha Stewart-esque craft room, occupied by an equally gorgeous Giada-Nigella hybrid who possesses domestic goddess-like qualities.

Well, my family hasn’t lived out any of the aforementioned situations. I’d imagine I’d be too tired (not to mention penniless!) to even try. Still, despite not having a perfect family situation, I do believe the life I’m living is blissful by my standards. Let me explain why.

Defining “bliss” through life as a wife and mom

From the time I got married to the time I became a mom, I knew that I wanted my family to experience a life to the full. By “living life to the full,” I don’t mean that we’ll be rolling in cash or “living the life,” as the rest of the world might put it. In defining a “life to the full,” I specifically mean living a life that is — by my definition — one that is purposeful and complete.

I’d say, by the world’s ideals, that the De Luna family is not “living the life.” Our life is very simple: We’re a modest, low-key household, living in our first second (happily renting, of course); my husband and I are both freelance online professionals, which means we get to have a relatively flexible work schedule that lets us have time with our young son. We’re fortunate to be close to family, and we have a tight-knit circle of friends.

Based on these alone though, I’d say our life has been very, very blessed. This alone gives me comfort.

Find that place of “enough”

When people ask me what I do for a living, I automatically say, “I’m a work-at-home mom.” It’s become second nature to me to give that response, because, well, I really do believe that I’m living out my mission and my purpose at this point in my life: to be a hands-on, active parent while still earning an income.

For now, I can honestly say that my life is simple and has a clear direction. We’re quite contented as a family, and though there are still many things we’d like to see happen in our lives, we’re quite at peace right now. A peaceful life. Though imperfect, we’re very satisfied with the way things are going for us.

For me, this is what bliss is: finding that place of “enough,” where your purpose is lived out fully.

It’s tempting to want what another mother has, or to uphold another wife or mom as the perfect “peg” of a life we’d rather have. The fact is no one can achieve the same state of happiness that you are potentially able to experience for yourself. As a wife and mother, I need to remind myself daily to live with an attitude of thankfulness and contentment.

I’d advise the same for you, fellow mom reading this. Even if our lives are simple by the Jones’ standards, let’s be grateful that what we’re experiencing is what is right and real for us. It’s then when we experience that feeling of true contentment and worth that we are living a blissful life — work, chores, kids et al.

Martine de Luna is a freelance writer by profession, and a wife and mom by vocation. She blogs about all things blissful as a mom on her award-winning blog, DaintyMom.com, where she features the stories of moms from all walks of life, and all tangents of bliss. She lives in Manila, Philippines with her husband, Ton, and son, Vito.