kids annoying you? keeping it in perspective

stressby Meghan Carrigan, Guest MOMtor

Responding to little annoyances and irritations as a mom … we all do it daily.

Yet, as I sit down to write this post, I struggle to come up with at least one example of me not screwing it up royally.  I have very little to offer in the successful advice category.

I’ve been wracking my brain, bugging my husband, looking back at old facebook postings, searching for something…anything that I can actually make workable and writable.  And I keep coming up blank.

I was thinking about this in the shower last night and came to the conclusion that this isn’t because I am an epic failure as a mother, but more because, as a mother…and a woman…and a human being, I am wired to remember the bad and forget the good. 

That is how it works, isn’t it?  We can do twenty things well and screw up on one and that one will be what we carry around all day long, no?

Thus, my frustrations here.  My kids annoy me frequently.  I love them dearly, but they know just which buttons to push and how to really get me spinning.  And most of the time, I probably do well enough with my own self-control that I don’t remember the incident because nothing came of it.  Yet, all I can think about are the nights when my son won’t sleep because he works himself into a hot, scared mess and I yell at him something about waking up everyone in the house and how no one cares that he can’t sleep.  Or the times I’m trying to clean the house and the kids seem bent on making it a million times worse at that very second and I again get all huffy and say something not so nice.  I can get snappier than a crab in the blink of an eye.

So I have no witty anecdotes of how I did it right, saved the day, learned the secret to motherhood and went on to live happily ever after.

What I can say, is that the outcome usually depends on me. And when I can hold my tongue, things tend to go much more right than wrong.  I’ve found that usually when I’m all up in arms about them having bad behavior, I should be looking in the mirror and checking my own.  I’ve also learned that most of the irritations and annoyances that seem so BIG in the heat of the moment get really small after I’ve cooled down — even just a few minutes later.  And here’s the biggie for me: no matter badly today went, tomorrow will be a new day.  A fresh start.  Full of GRACE.

For me and for my annoying kids. 

Meghan and her husband are parents to two adorable children — who sometimes get under their skin. 

About Mothering From Scratch

Many of us grew up without a healthy mom role model to guide us in our own mothering. Even those of us who did, often find that our children’s personalities, life circumstances and current culture are different than the ones our moms confronted. As a result, copying mom’s techniques and strategies doesn't always produce similar results. Regardless of our family recipe, all of us are truly “Mothering from Scratch.”

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  1. Oh, how very true! It’s taken me a long, long time to realize that what makes me angry is oftentimes not such a big deal after the fact, or more importantly when I’ve thought it through just a little bit. And remembering the bad instead of the good…is that a habit that we women have?
    Christina recently posted..Metal Swing Sets For Kids Still Rock!My Profile

  2. I love this post. My daughter annoys the living daylights out of me. I notice I tend to get snippy when I’m distracted or just trying to finish something up, it’s usually not her fault (although she really can push my buttons with the best of them). So I share your sentiment, just be as present as you can and start again tomorrow.
    Melissa @ Completely Eclipsed recently posted..Breastfeeding ConcernsMy Profile

  3. My kids frequently get on my nerves-that’s their job, right? But when all is said and done, those moments seem to pass in the blink of an eye. I’ve even asked them leading questions about certain incidents and they don’t seem to remember either. I guess it is just a survival skill!!
    Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted..Happy Birthday WIllie!My Profile

  4. YES YES YES! And I quote Mary- “Hell yes!”. Such a great creative post. Always need to work in this area… always grateful for a new day and His Grace OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
    Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diaries: Week 4My Profile

  5. Yup, very true.

    Since my husband is deployed my kids can get on my nerves. But I remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and that they love me and just want my attention.
    Amber recently posted..Rapunzel the HeroMy Profile

  6. Yes, yes, and hell, yes. To every word. I’ll take grace and a willingness to hold my tongue and attach to the good. We’re on the same wavelength today – my post is on a similar topic!
    Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..Making Room For ChaosMy Profile

  7. How is it that those little buggers make us so crazy, but we love them so much?! I don’t think an hour goes by without one of the kids doing something annoying. But that’s parenthood, isn’t it? You’re absolutely right that keeping calm makes the situation cool down faster, but sometimes it’s just. So. Hard! Best of luck keeping things in perspective…just know you’re not in that boat alone!
    Leslie recently posted..{30 Things} My Dream JobMy Profile

  8. Crystal Green
    Twitter: tidbitsofexperi
    says:

    I definitely struggle with this one big time with my three kids. I’m trying to learn to take the reigns and be more patient. :) Thanks for sharing that I’m not alone.
    Crystal Green recently posted..The Christian Parenting Handbook Review and HUGE GIVEAWAYMy Profile

  9. Andrea
    Twitter: bequotedbyasm
    says:

    I’ve learned to trick myself. At any point throughout the day you can make a good day. Doesn’t matter if it’s early in the morning are late at night. Make a good day if possible. Trick of the mind. Andrea at be-qutoed.com visiting from SITS.
    Andrea recently posted..How Married Women Date in 2013My Profile

  10. thedoseofreality
    Twitter: thedosetweets
    says:

    Such a great post. Related to everything you said here. So true. Parenting is a tough gig!-The Dose Girls
    thedoseofreality recently posted..An Open Letter To Andy DickMy Profile

  11. Michelle
    Twitter: DishofDailyLife
    says:

    Such a good reminder! This is going to be my resolution…hold my tongue when they are doing something that annoys me and either try to ignore it, or ask nicely (even though they know better)… Sometimes it seems like they push my buttons on purpose, but maybe it’s just that “I only think about me” mindset at work!
    Michelle recently posted..Why You Should Scan Your Printed PhotosMy Profile

    • It can be so hard to hold that tongue! But it really can make a huge difference! And hopefully an added bonus will be kids who also learn to hold their tongues!
      Meghan Carrigan recently posted..ChangeMy Profile

  12. HappyMomSusan
    Twitter: happymomsusan
    says:

    oooohhhh…. i could have written this.

    Yes yes yes! “I am wired to remember the bad and forget the good.” That’s it exactly. I struggle with this so often. I forget all the times I got it close enough to right and just remember the times I mess up royally.

    It doesn’t help that our kids seem to think “pushing moms buttons until she explodes” is a competitive sport or that they can make messes faster than I can clean them up.

    Sigh. No words of wisdom here either. Just companionship. You aren’t alone.
    HappyMomSusan recently posted..My Blogging ChairMy Profile

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